5 Reasons Why Doulas are Useless

(1)    Your body already knows what to do.  It is wise and you have an innate sense of what needs to be done to bring your baby into the world.

…but then the birthing process starts to get really uncomfortable and you don’t know what to do to cope with these new and ever intensifying sensations because you’ve never done this before / this is different from your last birth and you’ve tried taking a shower and sitting on a stupid yoga ball and breathing but nothing is helping!

…then you might need a doula.

(2)  Your partner is already so encouraging and supportive.  That’s just one of the reasons why you married / shacked up with / love this person.  They truly know your great strength and what you are capable of.

…unless he/she doesn’t know exactly what to do or say as the birthing process becomes more active because he/she isn’t 100% comfortable with this new situation because he/she didn’t go to med school and you can see right through his/her fake confidence and then there’s a sudden flash of doubt and–OH MY GOD!

…then you might need a doula.

(3)  You are birthing at a hospital and there are so many trained medical professionals to make sure that you are taken are of.

…except that your doctor is busy with several other births too and that annoying nurse keeps coming into the room to poke your cervix and call you “sweet pea” and ask so many questions, plus there’s that hospital smell and why is it so bright? and so many people coming in and out and in and out and –GET OUT!

…then you might need a doula.

(4) You are an intelligent woman capable of making informed choices for her birth.

…however, you’re new in town and you don’t really have anyone you truly trust to talk to on a daily basis which is making your confidence waiver and what are all your options in this city and maybe you should listen to your mom and just go back to Edmonton for the birth–NO!

…then you might need a doula.

(5)  Birth is beautiful and wondrous no matter how it happens because — BABY!  Every woman and every birth has their own unique set of requirements and, no matter what, it will be a profound experience you will remember for the rest of your life.

…although it can be stressful and there are a lot of things going on and what if? what if? and maybe you’ll take that epidural but no but YES but no and how much longer?!

…then maybe you need a doula.

***

Having a doula has been shown to reduce the use of epidurals and oxytocin, reduce the risk of Caesarean section, and increase the likelihood of a spontaneous vaginal birth.  As a doula, I provide you with information to make informed choices and provide non-judgmental support to help make your birth experience as stress-free as possible.

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